Recently I was accepted into Mystery Writers of America. The only challenge is that I don’t write mysteries. OK, their website says they cover writers in the “crime/mystery/suspense” fields, which is what motivated me to join.
This weekend I went to a monthly meeting for my local chapter. It was a great experience — a room full of writers with books, not a book, but several books, a whole string of books, out in readers’ hot little hands. I listened to advice, watched them promote their work, and heard a speaker talk about working with chain bookstores on book promotion. This topic was hugely premature for un-agented me, but I’m in learning-about-the-industry mode, so I tucked her pointers away in my notebook.
I learned two things related to my WIFE (that’s Work In Final Edit):
1. My verbal pitch needs a LOT of work. I thought I’d given it some thought, but found myself saying – it’s the story of 3 suburban women and one of them “goes over the edge” when an unconventional stranger enters her life. Not exactly a hook. I have a hook, but it was interesting to see that when put on the spot, my mind reverted immediately into the challenges that are uppermost in my thoughts.
2. When I say “psychological suspense”, most people hear “thriller”. After yet another genre melt-down yesterday, I’ve decided not to worry about it. I can’t waste any more time on this angst. There’s too much work to be done. When my novel is published, they’ll understand. 
I was advised to join Sisters In Crime, advised to attend Left Coast Crime and invited to a critique group. I have a love-hate relationship with the social side of writing. Spending time with other writers is a thrill. When I was in a critique group, it was one of the highlights of my week. But I’m a writer! I enjoy writing, I love writing, writing takes a tremendous amount of time. I have the obligatory “day job”. I want to hang out with all these kindred spirits, I know I’d benefit from going back to a critique group, but where to find the time?
How do you manage the delicate balance of Life, Writing & Writerly Friends & Associations?
Oh, that is very simple. I am not a published author yet.
No, actually I have thought about this a lot recently as I experience that it is very hard indeed to have a family, work for a living, plus write fiction and try to get into circles of people who write the same genre. Well, the writers I have come across have been generous and open, but the days are to short to do everything properly.
And if you DON´T write, you will never know if you were good enough.
The days are short, and possibly that’s why the online community is so great!
Sounds like an interesting meeting!
When I was teaching full time and trying to write, I found it difficult to talk to anyone about writing because I felt I had so little time to do the actual writing. So, I think I can understand the stress (though perhaps it’s good stress?) you feel. How often does the critique group meet, and how much of a time commitment would it be? I guess that’s a big consideration. But it seems healthy that you ultimately want to put the writing ahead of the writerly associations, as you put it.
I also have a love-hate relationship with the social side of writing, though now that I have more time, not for the same reason. It’s great to learn from others’ experiences and to share one’s experiences, but I have a terrible tendency to compare myself to others, especially when it comes to how many words per day, how people plot or plan their stories, etc. It’s been tough grasping the idea that it’s okay to have my own strategies, so long as I’m producing something. Well, maybe it’s not okay. I haven’t finished yet.
Good luck with your balancing act! Oh, and more importantly, have fun with your WIFE! (Love that!)
I have that tendency to compare, but it’s also helped me come up with my own strategies, as you noted. Glad you liked my new acronym.
I’ll exclude myself from your query. The day job kind allows me to talk about books and writing 24/7.
I’m jealous, Nathan. The people I work with think a thrilling read is the Wall Street Journal (although I suppose it can be).
It’s a struggle for me. I do have more time to write than many, but then again, I’m an obsessive writer so it seems there’s never enough time. I’ve been in one critique group with 8-15 members, and while it was great to be in the company of so many other writers, the critiquing part was a deal breaker. Now, I’m in a group with just four of us and we meet only once a month.
But I would love to be part of a weekly meeting, for lunch or dinner, just to talk about writing. In short, I’d like writer friends more than just writer acquaintances.
Did you make up WIFE? I’d never seen it before. Can I get a divorce from mine?
The critiquing was the deal breaker for me too, although I learned quite a lot and I think my writing improved through that process. Four writers and once a month sounds ideal. Dinner sounds absolutely divine!
I made up WIFE, and no, you can’t get a divorce!
LOL, Cathryn, this has to be one of the biggest challenges for me! Being a full time mom is so isolating and time consuming that I struggle with balance eternally.
I began attending a once a month critique group, and so far have been at two meetings. I think it’s great!
I agree with Linda, that meeting once a week would be ideal. It fuels the creativity, and drives one forward, but as time is precious to everyone, this is no easy thing. Last winter I attended a once a week workshop for 8 weeks and I thought it was just perfect.